That boy was my son, it was time I told him
by Migito
Summary: What would happen if Kratos was as not a strong as he was in the game and told Lloyd before they reached the Tower of Salvation who he really was? this is what i believe would happen and how things would play out eventually. I own nothing about this game


Disclaimer: I own nothing about this game. I do not own the characters, story line, music nothing…even if I wish I did I do not.

The battle was getting intense (in relativity to the partys ability). I saw Lloyd falter with his block as a monster attacked him from behind and another attacking from the front. I ran to his side using my own guardian to protect us. I noticed Raine was staring at me knowing I would have only usually done that for the chosen, anyone else I would have let them take the hit, and then heal them after. I was going to have to be more careful to avoid suspicion, but at the same time I could not stand the sight of my only son getting hurt or being in pain. There was now no doubt in my mind that this boy, Lloyd, was my son.

The very same boy who was now glaring daggers at me for interfering with his fight. I knew he did not like admitting his weakness, but my paternal instincts kicked in without my consent. Even through his fierce expression I could see in his eyes that he was truly thankful. His eyes so much like my Anna's, it made sense she was his mother, but to see her in him every time I looked at him I did not know if it was a blessing or a curse. Of course it was a blessing to see my long dead wife in the eyes of her son, (_not her son, I amended myself, our son)_ yet at the same time having to see her and knowing that I was the one who killed her was torture. A vision of her flashed through my memory…A broken body on the end of my sword, her dying eyes, her forgiving heart. Her kind and loving expression was the worst, I could handle fear, or anger, or hatred, but her forgiveness was almost too much to bear, even now, years later. As the vision ended and I was once again returned to the present, I knew that I would never rid myself of the image of my love as I killed her, like most of my time with her it was too deeply entrenched in my mind to ever be forgotten.

"Be careful" I growled in Lloyd's direction, more harshly than I would have liked to, but it had to be this way, I knew I would not have been able to betray him and his friends with him knowing I was his father. My heart was getting pulled by memories, which I instinctively shut off before I became unable to fight.

Soon the fight was over and Raine went around healing the party's injuries. I was surprised to see that Lloyd had no injuries, a feeling of pride seeped through me and I allowed myself a small smile. Genis had not fared so well, and it was taking all of Raine's skill to heal him little by little. I knew by his injuries he would not die but he would be in for a long and difficult recovery. I knew I was able to heal him but I would have to blow my cover to do so, that was something I was not going to do.

That night we checked into one of the inns in Asgard. Raine and Genis were in one room on the top floor and Collete in the room beside them. Lloyd and I shared a room downstairs on the opposite side of the hotel as the chosen. For this I was thankful, I wished to have a private conversation with Lloyd tonight and even though I was able to block the hearing of angels, let alone any unwanted ears, a little extra safety was always appreciated.

That night when we were in the room, Lloyd went to have a warm bath to wash off the sweat and monster blood. When he was in the bathroom I heard him gasp in pain. I called lightly and asked if he was alright.

His reply was a little shaky and forced. "Of course" he said trying to sound off hand

Had I missed something? Had he gotten hurt when I had looked away? Just then realization hit me, Lloyd had taken a hit before I reached him and used guardian to protect him. I was furious with myself for overlooking that detail; it was a mistake I would not make twice. I cursed his clothes, the perfect colour to hide any sign of blood. He must have been careful not to let anyone see the tear in his clothes that would obviously been there.

"Lloyd, how are you feeling?" I asked after he was finished in the bathing room

"Me? Uh alright" he said. I caught his quick glance down to his torso.

"Lloyd if you are hurt, it is wise to let someone know." I began; he began protesting that he was hurt so I quickly cut him off with a question.

"How did you rip your shirt like that then and not sustain an injury?"

"Oh I don't know, I guess it was just a scratch, I heal quickly you know" he said looking at me and trying to stand up straight. I knew the effort it was taking and now that I took a closer look I could see fresh blood oozing out of his clothing and seeping through the part that was not slashed.

"Lloyd, sit down" I said as I started walking towards him

"Umm...why?" he said looking slightly confused. His face was turning pale, most likely from the loss of blood, if not from my expression.

"Because I can see the blood soaking your clothing, and you are turning dangerously white." I said walking up to him and gently forcing him to the bed and into a sitting position.

"Kratos! I'm...fine...really...I mean...it's not that bad" Lloyd said starting to lose his resolve as the pain was becoming too much for him to bear.

"Hush Lloyd. Now lay back and lift your shirt so I can assess the damage." I looked at my son; this stupid mercenary charade was wearing on me, how much easier it would be if I could tell him who I was, and how much he meant to me.

"…"

Lloyd looked at me

I sighed, "That was not a question Lloyd. Either you lie down and show me your wound or I do it myself against your will" If Lloyd ever found out who I was he was going to get a stern talking to about telling people when you are injured. I was half tempted to yell at him for it now.

"Fine" he finally said in a weak voice and laid down against the pillow. Before he had the chance to lift his shirt I did it for him.

"A little impatient?" he asked, his voice a mix between annoyance and laughter.

"humph" was my answer

I looked at the slice across his torso and stifled a small gasp. The wound was deep and infected, not to mention that it still had dirt and infection in it.

"Lloyd, why didn't you clean it properly?" I asked as I cast first aid to heal him a little and give him a little more energy and strength

"w-well...it..it...it hurt I tried to clean it but it really was really painful, then when you heard me I'm guessing." Lloyd said ashamed

"Lloyd even if something hurts you must learn to clean your wounds properly, especially if you do not have a healer around to heal it for you." I said "I will be right back Lloyd, we have to clean that wound out properly"

"Can't you just get the professor and she can heal it?" Lloyd asked.

I knew full well that I could heal Lloyd with a quick spell, and he would be as good a new, but this was a chance for me to teach him an important lesson about being an adult. An opportunity I would not pass up on when I only had such a short time to be with him.

"Raine has enough to deal with taking care of her brother; as well this is a valuable lesson for you." I did not want to cause my son pain but it was better for him, he had to learn, because I could not always be there to look after him.

As I got up to go get soap, anti-bacterial, warm water and a cloth, I saw him, out of the corner of my eye, trying to sit up. Rolling my eyes I turned around and put my hand on his shoulder pushing him back down.

"Lloyd. Do not get up, you are still bleeding and will only cause greater blood loss and cause yourself to pass out" I said as I went to get the supplies and first aid kit out of my pack. I laughed to myself; I had not had to use that old thing since I had first began traveling with Yuan.

_Flash Back__---Kratos and Yuan have been traveling together for about 2 months---_

"_K-Kratos?" A much younger Yuan asked looking at his traveling companion_

"_what now Yuan? We can't stop for another hour or so, we want to make Izoold by night, so we do not really have the time for your petty complaints right now" Kratos' words were softened by his expression – a mixture of superiority and worry for his friend._

"_seriously, I…uh…well…I need the first aid kit again" Yuan looked down looking ashamed._

"_AGAIN?" Kratos asked in disbelief shaking his head as he turned back to Yuan_

"_What did you do this time?" Kratos asked as he bent over his traveling sack and retrieved his first-aid kit._

"_It's not my fault a snake bit me!" Yuan protested_

"_Wow and here I was thinking it was your amazing ability to hurt yourself with nothing dangerous in site..." Kratos laughed and handed Yuan a panacea bottle and a piece of gauze and tape_

_End Flash Back_

I came back with everything I needed and was surprised to see Lloyd still Laying down. For once he had actually listened to me. As Lloyd flinched and stifled cries of pain from the cleaning solution I decided to break my oath.

"_Are you sure you want him to know?"_ A voice came from inside my head

"_Origin, I thought you were not supposed to deal with those who do not wield the sword?" _I said with my thoughts talking to the summon spirit.

"_You have been my seal for thousands of years; I think that I can stretch the rules a little on my part." _

The thought of a summon spirit breaking rules almost made me smile, almost

"_Origin, he is my son, I have not been with him for fourteen long years, perhaps if I make a deal with Mithos, he will allow Lloyd to come live with me on Derris Kharlan and if not he does not need to know, my life is still mine to live, despite what that spoiled brat thinks." _

"_Just be careful, if your sure that this is what you want Kratos, things may turn out but what if Mithos decided to use him to keep you at his bidding, you know he will if he can" _

"_I know and I will be ready for that when the time comes"_

"Kratos? Kratos?" Lloyd asked bringing me out of my conversation with Origin

"Yes Lloyd?" I asked a little perplexed

"_Good luck Kratos and congradulations, I will do what I can to protect your son from Mithos, remember that's it's not just you who thinks he is a spoiled brat."_ The voice of the summon spirit faded away

"Kratos? How do you know all of this stuff?" Lloyd asked watching as my hands methodically cleaned and bound his wound.

"You learn things Lloyd when you travel often." I said looking at him. Even though I had no need for a first-aid kit for well over three thousand years, I still traveled with it. I never knew what would happen to one of my 'clients' when I was acting as a mercenary. Though nothing had happened yet, I still had years of practicing while Yuan went through his clumsy stage. The thought almost made me smile. Oh what his men would think if they knew that their all-mighty leader was once and uncoordinated and clumsy teen.

"That's cool, Kratos I'm...I'm glad you traveled with us, you're so much like an older brother to me." Lloyd said smiling as he lay in the small hotel bed. Kratos who was sitting at the end of his sons bed, allowed himself to smile briefly then the smile faded

"Lloyd there is something I must tell you." I said looking into his eyes hoping to find Anna there, hoping she would give me strength in this even if I didn't deserve it

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Lloyd said his goofy grin fading.

"Lloyd there is a reason, I stood at your mother's grave, and how I know the renegades and how I know who killed your mother"

Lloyd cut me off "Just spit it out already"

"It was me; I was the one who killed your mother, Anna"

"It couldn't be you, you said so yourself it was my father who killed mom" He said, his voice fierce

"Lloyd, think about this…Lloyd, I am your father"

His breathing stopped as realization dawned on him…then he exploded.

"You!...you can't be!...my…my father...Why didn't you ever come looking for me!" He said getting mad.

"Lloyd, if I was in the position to do so I would have, but when I descended the cliff all I found was the design carcasses, I assumed you had died also, but I looked, and looked. I looked until Yuan found me and forced me to go back to the Renegade base with him.

"W…Why didn't you tell me earlier? All this time…you knew, and you never even mentioned it to me? WHY KRATOS! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, HOW CAN YOU JUST IGNORE THAT FACT!" Lloyd screamed at me, his breath coming in gasps as his seethed in rage.

"Calm down Lloyd; stop yelling and I'll explain" I said trying to calm him down. The room was blocked so I knew that no one could hear, but that was not the point. Lloyd needed to learn to control his anger and his temper.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN-" Lloyd began but I soon cut him off

"Lloyd, you are not a child. Do not act as one" I said using the same tone I used when he misbehaved when he was young. My tone seemed to have cooled him a little as he began talking normally again

With a forced calm he began "Explain Kratos. Everything I need to know, now"

With a sigh I told him everything; almost everything. I did not yet have the heart to tell him what would truly happen to the chosen. I could not afford to lose my son right after he just discovered who I was.

"s'it all true?" Lloyd asked meekly, his gaze focused intensely on the floor.

"I am sorry Lloyd, but yes, it is all true." I said calculating his expression

"I…I guess I can't tell the others can I" He asked for the first time meeting my gaze.

"I am sorry…son..." that simple word I had used so often in the past was now forced and strained "but you must never tell anyone who I am or what your relation to me is" he shook his head once in conformation.

"Ok Lloyd lay back down; you won't recover your strength unless you rest. You lost a lot of blood today and your body needs time to replenish itself. I would heal you properly but that kind of use of magic would alert Mithos and I would be faced with some explaining I do not wish to deal with at the moment" I said rising off the foot of Lloyds bed to go to my own.

He nodded and closed his eyes. I presume to take in everything he had been told.

So this was it, I made my decision, my firm and stable bridge was burnt down and replaced with a cheap raft not worthy of water and yet I found hope that my new future, a future which included my son.


End file.
